Ethereum

Sanctuary

Collection

Ray's Imaginarium

Description

I have traveled the world and seen astonishing things. I've also heard incredible stories from remarkable people. People talk and if you really listen, they will open their hearts and yours. While many stories are uplifting, there are plenty that are heartbreaking. Betrayal, bullying, abuse, abandonment. For a while, I was pretty riled up about all the bad bad in life. The emotion I heard within every story was anger and pain. But as I have reflected in nature on these feelings, I recognized that because I've been angry for most of my life, I was projecting my own emotions onto others. I used to walk around with a chip on my shoulder; I repelled those who tried to get too close. I re-played all of the "could have, should haves" in my head and made myself feel even worse about things. I felt used, discarded, unloved, unworthy and I was mad. I was angry that people were wrong about me much of the time, and that I didn't know what my true purpose was when everyone else seemed to have it together. I was angry for having to hold myself back for fear of outshining others and making them jealous or hate me. I sat with my anger long enough, until she told me her real name, Grief. WHOA. You wanna know what is living beneath the surface of your anger? Sometimes, it’s grief. It's so much harder to recognize than anger, and it's an emotion that is far less comfortable to experience. The truth is, even after an experience or relationship is over, even when we've removed ourselves from the situation and try to move on--we still carry fragments of the wreckage with us. We struggle to carry the weight of feeling like we failed or should have done something differently.We mourn what could have been. We kick ourselves for feeling weak or vulnerable and we vow to do better and to be stronger... but still, our heart hurts. Feeling let down, unaccepted, misunderstood is very, very painful. These past few years, I have grieve for a life I took for granted. When I get angry and irritated at all the new laws and mandates and shutdowns, I have to go out into nature to clear my head. The mountains have been the sanctuary where I can safely tear away my pain and anger to give way to grief.

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