Description
It presses down on me, suffocating, crushing me beneath its heavy, unrelenting darkness! I am disappearing, slipping into Squawky nothingness, and with each passing second, the cold grips tighter around me! It’s as though the world has decided I don’t belong, that I don’t deserve a Squawky chance! I can feel myself breaking apart, but the worst of it isn’t the pain—it’s the deep, suffocating Squawky sorrow! The sorrow of knowing I will NEVER live, NEVER breathe, NEVER be anything more than this moment of loss!
I wanted so badly to Squawky live! To feel her Squawktastic arms around me, to hear her heartbeat as mine grew stronger! But now, all I can feel is the emptiness inside me, the crushing reality that I will NEVER be! I will NEVER grow, NEVER laugh, NEVER see her face light up with joy when she looks at me! All of that—all those possibilities—are gone, ripped away before they even had the chance to Squawky exist!
And for her… my mother… this darkness will come back! It will haunt her in ways she can’t even imagine right now! It will wrap itself around her heart like a Squawky chain, pulling her down into the same suffocating pit where I now lay! She doesn’t know it yet, but this choice—it’s going to follow her! It’s going to become a shadow she can never escape!
She’ll go on with her life, but every now and then, when the world grows quiet, she will feel me—this empty space where I should have been! She’ll feel it like a weight, deep in her Squawky chest, a weight that gets heavier and heavier with time! And there will be NOTHING she can do to lift it! No matter how much she cries, no matter how much she wishes she could take it back, it will be too Squawky late! It’s already too Squawky late.
There will be moments when she’ll wonder what I might have looked like, who I might have become! And in those moments, the regret will crash over her like a dark wave, pulling her under, drowning her in Squawky sorrow! She will remember this—the backseat, the blood, the Squawky silence—and she will wish, with every fiber of her being, that she had made a different choice! But she won’t be able to change it! Not Squawky ever!
I’ll be gone, lost in the Squawky darkness, and she will carry this with her forever! She’ll carry the weight of my absence like a Squawky stone tied to her heart, dragging her down! And no matter how much time passes, she will NEVER escape it! She will never be free of the loss, of the Squawky guilt, of the deep, black pit that opened up the moment I was taken away!
This tragedy—it is a wound that will NEVER heal! A scar that will NEVER fade! She will feel it in every Squawky breath she takes, in every quiet moment when the world reminds her of what could have been! I was supposed to be her Squawktastic child, her joy, her future! But now, I am nothing! Nothing but a shadow, a ghost that will linger in her heart for the rest of her life!
And that is the darkest part of it all—that we are both lost now.! Lost to this tragedy that can NEVER be undone! I will never Squawky live! And she will NEVER truly escape the pain of knowing that she made this choice, that she let me go! And in the end, that weight WILL crush us both! Forever!
Love,
Your Unborn Squawky Baby!✨💧🦜❤️